Working Mommy

I went back to work on Monday….and the rest is history.

I’m just kidding 🙂

I know I’m not the only mother who dread going back to work. It means less time with your baby and nobody wants to do that. Luckily for me, my job allowed me to work from home for a month. Can you say “BLESSED!” So, I get to enjoy my little pumpkin a little longer.

I foolishly thought working at home and taking care of my daughter would be a walk in the park. Boy was I wrong! My daughter is extremely colicky, but she’s also use to me dropping everything and anything when she cries. Well, Ms. Chloè had to learn a very tough lesson early on.

Monday was crazy! I work 3pm-12 midnight. When I logged into work as I normally do, she wasn’t having it. She wanted me to hold her, talk to her, look at her, bounce her, walk her around, etc. I could do none of those things, because I have a quota to meet at work. As my baby cried, I felt horrible! I mean who wants to hear their child cry, right?

I was trying to work and tend to her needs without falling behind at work. My anxiety was out the window! I started feeling extremely overwhelmed and doubted several times that I couldn’t do this. My mother had just gotten back from her trip, so I felt really bad that she had to step in to help me. She was going off of 4 days of no sleep! But, what are mothers for.

As the night concluded, I had to calm myself down. My daughter doesn’t know that mommy had to work. All she knew was, I want my mommy and she’s ignoring me. Going back to work is an adjustment for both my daughter and I. I’m learning to have somewhat of a schedule and she’s learning that mommy has to work to provide for her. Although, Monday was stressful, we made it through.

Nobody said this journey would be easy, but it’s so worth it!

Tell me about how you adjusted to going back to work and what challenges you faced.

Until next time xoxo

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It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

It has been 6 long and exciting weeks since I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Chloè was born on July 11, 2018; weighing 8 pounds and 6 ounces. Yeah, I definitely tore some, but it was so worth it! I was in labor for 7 LONG HOURS and I didn’t take any meds (I was determined not to).

As I’m sitting outside, I decided to reflect on what I’ve learned thus far. There is a huge difference between being pregnant and actually having your child. Let me explain what I mean. As I previously mentioned in my other posts, I am a single mother. When I was pregnant, I had accepted the fact that my child’s father wouldn’t be apart of our lives. I was able to get through my pregnancy in a healthy mindset because of my support system, and my ability to keep moving forward.

When I had Chloè, I’m not going to lie. I had hoped that her father would show up. However, he didn’t. I held things together in front of my family and friends, but truth is, I was devastated. I am very close with my father and I wanted nothing more for my child to have that same relationship. However, that’s not our reality.

The first two weeks from home was hell! It’s been only me for the last 25 years and I had no clue what to do with a baby. My child endured a lot her first week home, and I mean a lot! I cannot tell you how many times I called the doctor, went to see specialists, and even went to the emergency room. I felt like a horrible mother…person for what my baby was going through. I mean, you’re supposed to make things better, right?

I literally cried everyday! I cried because I felt she deserved a better mother. I cried because I wanted to sleep, but couldn’t. I cried because I knew this precious human being was looking up to me, and I had no freaking clue what to do. I cried just to cry because it was all overwhelming. I felt like I was on autopilot and my brain wasn’t really processing this life change.

One day, my mother came home early. She gave me a pep talk and reinsured me that I could do this. It was in that moment that I knew things would be okay.

As time went on, things did get better. I had to realize that I’m new to this just like Chloè. There is no handbook on how to be a parent…you do the best you know how. Listen, I’m not sharing this with you to have a pity party. Because, I am truly blessed. Yes, my journey may be challenging. However, God has me 100%.

I believe people put so much pressure on new mothers and mothers in general to be perfect. When that’s impossible! No one is perfect in fact. Being a parent…a single parent is hard work! There are no breaks. There is no one else, but you. I shared this with you because, I want you to know it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel angry. However, don’t dwell there. I want you to pick yourself up and keep moving forward!

Your beautiful baby is looking to you for guidance and strength. You are strong and capable! Things will be challenging, but I believe they will get better.

Until next time xoxo

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35 Pregnancy Lessons

In honor of my 35th week in pregnancy, I thought I’d share 35 things I’ve learned thus far!

Check it out below:

  1. Don’t dwell on negativity
  2. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s
  3. Understand your words have power
  4. Remain positive in all situations
  5. Appreciate your family
  6. Appreciate your friends
  7. Learn to be alone
  8. Develop a prayer habit
  9. Develop good eating habits
  10. Do what you say and say what you mean
  11. It’s okay to cry. However, don’t allow your pain to consume you
  12. Don’t count yourself out, but always count yourself in
  13. Understand you have nothing to prove to anyone, but God and yourself
  14. Date yourself
  15. Learn to appreciate yourself
  16. Build a healthy relationship with yourself
  17. Invest in yourself
  18. Build your dreams and not someone else’s
  19. Don’t apologize for being you
  20. It’s okay to let go of people you’ve outgrown
  21. You don’t have to tolerate BS from anyone
  22. Be confident in the decisions you make
  23. Understand life is full of ups and downs, but it’s your attitude that will make or break you
  24. Just because life didn’t go as planned, doesn’t mean your life won’t be better than planned
  25. You’re in control of your future and present
  26. Let go of any regrets
  27. Let go of past hurts
  28. Stop expecting people to be how you are
  29. Accept people for who they are
  30. When someone shows you them true selves, believe them
  31. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve
  32. Never give up on love
  33. Travel often
  34. Laugh every chance you get
  35. Live life to the fullest everyday

There you have it! My list of things I’ve learned or came to accept thus far during my pregnancy journey.

Let me know what you have learned/came to accept thus far in your journey!

Until next time xoxo

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Live On Purpose

I listen to a lot of motivational speakers. I hear them saying to “live on purpose” and that you can have an abundant life now. I never understood what that meant, until recently. I mean, if you’re living…aren’t you living on purpose? AND don’t you have to wait until you’ve reached your goals or level of success in life, BEFORE you can have an abundant life? WRONG!

  • Abundance means, “the state or condition of having a copious quantity of something; plentifulness” (dictionary.com).
  • To live on purpose means, “to set priorities that align with what’s most important and strive to achieve that daily. Also, a person who lives a balanced life and invest their energy/time into things that matter most” (http://jenekapela.com/livewithpurpose/).

We often believe we have to wait until we’ve reached our ultimate goal in life before we can enjoy it. I know I’m guilty of thinking this way and I want to share something with you. When you deprive yourself of the now, you’re robbing yourself of life’s greatest gifts/moments. Yes, you have to be disciplined and focused to achieve your goals. However, you have to stop and enjoy the now.

You have to stop and enjoy the scenery.

You have to stop and be thankful for all that you have.

You have to stop and appreciate all that you’ve accomplished.

When we’re so focused on the future, we miss out on the present. The present is what help keep us grounded and prepares us for the future. In order to live on purpose, you have to plan for the future, learn from the past, and enjoy the present.

It’s in the moments that we allow ourselves to be appreciative of our current state, that we get launched into of future success. I am guilty of being ungrateful and constantly comparing myself to others. However, one day I stopped. I said enough was enough. Instead of me complaining about how I should be further in my life and trying to speed up my goals. I stopped and began to appreciate all that I have accomplished thus far. It’s in these moments, that I realize I have all I need to be happy and I’m so grateful for my life.

Living on purpose or an abundant life doesn’t mean you cannot plan or make goals. It means to enjoy your life now while planning for the future. Learn to appreciate your life and your journey. Because it’s all leading you to something bigger!

Don’t wait until you have “arrived” before you starting loving and appreciating your life. Do it now, and all the way until you hit every goal you have for yourself!

Until next time xoxo

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Patience My Friend

I have absolutely no patience! Okay… I have a little, but not much. I’m not afraid to admit that I want things when I want it, and I get frustrated when things don’t go my way. YES I AM A BRAT! All jokes aside, I have been working a lot of my patience. I mean, I’ll have to have tons of patience with a baby, right?

As I’m eagerly awaiting my daughters arrival, I tell myself to be patient. I am going to have many lifetimes with her and I need enjoy this time to prepare for her arrival. I also need to enjoy this time to reflect and get myself together. My life will NEVER be the same once my daughter arrives. So, practicing patience is my bestie right now.

Here is a few techniques I do to help me practice patience.

  • Breathe: It may seem simple, but when you’re preparing for a child, things can get out of hand. Remembering to breathe is highly important.
  • Relax: When I am really excited about something, I tend to get anxious. Yes, it’s great to be excited about meeting my daughter. However, it’s not healthy for my body to release those hormones. It can be harmful to the baby as well. So, trying to relax is a great thing to do.
  • Make a list: I love to plan things! I am a tad bit of a control freak. So, this always puts me at ease (sometimes). In this situation, making a list of things that I have to do by the time she arrives, helps me be more patient. Lets be honest here, it’s going to take me sometime to get organized and it’s reassuring that I still have time to complete certain things.

Those are just some things I do to help me be more patient with waiting on my daughters arrival. Of course, this is an exciting time, but learning to be patient before will help you be more patient when you’re holding your baby.

Until next time xoxo

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Breastfeeding

I never understood the benefits of breastfeeding until I started taking classes and researching about it. There are sooo many benefits to breastfeeding, and I don’t understand why people wouldn’t want to at least try it.

Before we became a more technology/modern society, women used to breastfeed their children. There was no such thing called “formula”. In fact, formula has only been around since the late 1800s. I don’t know about you, but that’s not a long time. If people weren’t using formula until then…what were they using??? Their breast.

I strongly believe because we live in an over sexualized world now, people cannot fathom the idea of children getting their food from the same source men use for pleasure. However, I’m here to tell you that breast were not created for pleasure. They were created as a way to provide children with the nutrition they need.

I’m not writing this to convince anyone to throw away the formula and breastfeed. While it’s the best food for our babies, I think we should consider all the options available to us and make an informed decision. I have attached two articles to this post today. One of the articles outline the timeline of breastfeeding and the other list the importance of breastfeeding.

While I have lots to learn about breastfeeding, I am excited to share my journey with you! I have made a commitment to breastfeed for the first year and a half of my child’s life. Woah!! I know, but I believe with patience, faith, and determination, I will succeed!

Be sure to check out the links below!

Until next time, XOXO

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That’s My Best Friend

Growing up, I wanted to be everyone’s friend. I didn’t care if they treated me right, I just wanted a friend. Although, last year was very challenging, I did discover something….ME. Not only did I find out I was pregnant, but I learned how to be a friend to myself.

Often times, we put so much pressure on others to be that support system or that “friend” we can pour all of our troubles to. But, we have to realize that we have to be that type of friend to ourselves. Of course, people love you and want to be here for you, but they have things they go through as well. It’s not fair that we place them on this pedal stool to be everything we lack.

We are energy beings that feeds off of both positive and negative energy. If we are constantly dishing out our worries and our insecurities on our friends, then it can become draining for them. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t vent to your friends, because if they are truly your friends, then they would listen. However, we have to find a balance.

I found that balance and it is and has taken me sometime to understand how to be a true friend to myself. I value my peace of mind and I am protective of my space. So, I will not allow anyone to invade what God and I worked so hard to build. Was it an easy journey? No. I’ve had plenty of people in my life drain me mentally and physically, but, I didn’t care as long as we were “friends”, it was okay.

At 25, I have learned to be my own best friend. I’m learning to seek God and myself for the troubles that arise in my life, before considering going to a friend. I go on brunch and movie dates by myself now. I take myself to get my nails done and I am in the process of traveling alone. I now understand that just because my friends cannot do something with me, doesn’t mean they don’t care. Just because they cannot answer every call doesn’t mean they don’t care. Just because they call me there friend doesn’t mean they are my friends.

Friendships are just like a romantic relationship. It’s two people contributing to a platonic relationship and not becoming or draining that relationship. I truly believe when we learn to be our own best friends, we won’t allow the wrong people in our lives and we will appreciate the genuine friends we do have.

Remember, you only can learn how to be a true friend, by being a true friend to yourself.

Until next time xoxo

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Fitness Pregnancy

As you may know, I have gotten into health and fitness over the last few years. I feel when you’re healthy and looking good, you’ll feel good. In the beginning of my pregnancy, I wasn’t working out as much and I was indulging in plenty of sweets!

I was reading an article about how to have a healthy pregnancy, and fitness and eating the right foods was on the top of that list. Also, many years before I became pregnant, I said I didn’t want to gain a lot of weight whenever I had a child. So, I decided to hit the gym.

I have a friend I workout with and she is also pregnant. To my surprise, her daughter is due in September. So, I figured this was a perfect match! We typically workout 3 times a week and it’s nothing too strenuous.

I’m going to share with you a few reasons why I believe working out while pregnant is beneficial.

  1. It builds confidence: pregnancy brings on a ton of emotions and feeling attractive is something women struggle with during this time. I know going to the gym for me, helped give me a boost of confidence. Although, I’m growing a human, I’m looking good while doing it.
  2. It releases stress: I don’t know about you, but pregnancy can be extremely stressful….if you allow it. Going to the gym helps me to release my stress hormones and provides a space for me to clear my mind.
  3. Strengthens your muscles: My doctor informed me that working out during pregnancy will help to strengthen the muscles I’ll be using to give birth to my daughter. I figured, working out during my pregnancy could help my delivery go a lot smoother.
  4. It’s relaxing: I tried water aerobics for the first time and I will be doing this class once a week now. But, I felt extremely relaxed after taking the class and I laughed a ton! It’s something about the swaying of the water and jumping up and down that cracks me up. I forgot how much I enjoyed being in the water and just letting my body float.

Those are my top 4 reasons for working out during pregnancy. Of course, there are plenty of more reasons, but I thought those were the most important. Also, make sure you get clearance from your doctor. Your doctor knows you and your body very well. They know what will or won’t cause harm to the baby.

I’ve also included a few photos below! Make sure to check it out.

Until next time, xoxo

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Can you be single and in a relationship?

I know I am not the only who had given their all when it came to a relationship. You probably felt like you had nothing after it ended.  I have been on this journey of self discovery for a while now, and I am sure I will be on this journey for the remainder of my life. However, I have learned a few things recently, and I would like to share that with you today.

I often lost myself when being in a committed relationship. When it ended I was angry. I was angry because I gave my all and I played into this false reality of a future with someone, that I put aside my wants and what made me happy to make my mate happy. In the end, I was left with a broken heart and confusion as to what I wanted out of life.

I made a vow. I vowed to never lose myself at the expense of a relationship. I vowed to never lose myself at the expense of the life challenges. I vowed to take full control of my life and what makes me happy.

As you know, I am in a committed relationship. I love my boyfriend dearly and we are working to build something great. However, I was detrimental to my relationship. I started focusing completely on him and our future that I forgot about me. Although, I pray we work, I do not know what the future holds. I have vowed to be okay with me whether or not we work. By becoming okay with me and the life I would like to create, I had to take a few steps back.

If you’re wondering how to remain single while being in a committed relationship, continue reading below.

  1. Do the same things you did while you were single: When you were single, you focused on what made you happy. You either started focusing on your health, fitness, and or career goals. You still do all of those things while being in a committed relationship. You just do not disrespect your relationship. Like, dating other people or cheating.
  2. Take time out for you: We can become obsessive with spending everyday with our mate. However, there is a such things as spending too much time with someone. Learn to be okay with being by yourself. Let your mate miss you sometimes.
  3. Focus on building yourself up: No relationship is perfect. We all go through things within our relationships. However, when you focus on building up yourself, you will not need anyone else to do it. For an example, say you got a new client or a promotion at work, and you tell your mate about it. If they do not react in the way that you would like them to, than you would be okay with that. Reason being, is because you have learned to be your own cheerleader.
  4. Learn to love you: When you learn the value of loving yourself and how to love yourself, you will attract the right kind of love in return. You will not tolerate someone within your space that does not love you in the way that you deserve. If your relationship ended for whatever reason, you would be okay. Yes, you would be hurt by it. However, you would not become angered by it.
  5. Crush your goals: Whatever goals you have for yourself, do not let them stop because you are in a committed relationship. You’ll be a much happier person when you are knocking out your personal goals and your relationship will overall be a lot healthier.

Those are some starter tips on how to remain single while being in a committed relationship. Again, no relationship is perfect. However, you do not want to lose yourself in the midst of your relationship. If your relationship ended for whatever reasons( I pray that it does not), you will be okay. You will be able to continue to move forward without having to feel like you’ve lost so much.

I want to know what you think about remaining single while being in a committed relationship. Leave your comments below!

 

 

 

Ms. Intuition 

As a women, we have all been blessed with this thing called intuition. It’s a beast and if we learn to trust it, we can save ourselves a lot of heartache. 

I’ve come to a few conclusions over the past month or so. 

  1. Our intuition informs us when someone is no good for us.
  2. Our intuition informs us when we are not happy in a relationship.
  3. Our intuition informs us when we need to let go and move on. 

Here is the thing ladies. We ignore it. We often believe that we can make things better in our relationships…in our lives if we just stick with it. The truth is, we already know in our hearts that it’s not going to work, we are just not ready to face it. 

There comes a time in our lives where we have to suck up the tears, tuck away the hurt, and put on our big girl pants. We have to learn to accept things for the way they are, and learn to let go of the things that are hurting us. 

I know we’ve all loss someone this year or at some point in our lives. If lossing the people who we hold dear to our hearts has not taught us that life is way too short to live unhappy, than I don’t what else will. 

Sometimes, Ms. Intuition (that’s what I call her) challenges us. She pushes us to face our inner most hurt. And that is, “if I leave him, I’ll be alone”. That is, “what if I don’t find someone else like him”. Well, it’s better to be alone than to be in a situation that is causing you pain. It allows you to heal and move forward in your life. And, why the hell would you want another man that doesn’t value you? I’m sure if he appreciated you, Ms. Intuition wouldn’t be telling you, “it’s time to go”. 

Listen, your intuition is a gift from God. Learn to become intuned with her. Learn to trust her. Learn to trust God. I promise, it will save you a lot of heartache in the long run. 

Let me know what you think! Do you agree/disagree???

 Leave comments below 😊 

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