My pregnancy has helped me to find my voice and myself. I’ve been on this self discovery journey for a few years now and I’m still on it, but I can finally see me at the end.
For as long as I could remember I have always been a people pleaser. If it would make others happy, despite if it caused me pain, I’d do it. It was better for them to be happy than me. I’ve dated plenty of jerks in my life and each time I put aside my feelings to please them. To be honest, my eagerness to please people went beyond romantic relationships. I often found myself wanting to please the entire world, from coworkers, to friends and family, and even church folks.
What I found in all of that is depression and anger. I pleased everyone at the expense of myself and it caused me to regret many things in my life. However, finding out I was pregnant was my breaking point. I thought becoming pregnant outside of marriage deemed me as damaged goods. I mean, it is a sin to have a baby out of wedlock, right? While that may be true, God has forgiven me and I have forgiven me.
My baby has saved me in more ways than I can say. For the first time, I’m finding out who I am and not caring what others think. I refuse to allow myself to remain broken, in order to please others. It’s not fair to my child. I now speak up and stand for what I want. I’m understanding what love really is and it’s a beautiful thing.
I’ve accepted some hard truths about my life and my journey, and rebuked false truths and people’s perception of me. Truth is, it doesn’t matter what other people say. It only matters what you say and what you believe to be true. The world can be a cruel place and if you allow your voice to be mute, and you don’t figure out how to truly love yourself, it will destroy you. My pregnancy has taught me that people will always have something to say. It’s only what you or myself believe to be true.
God said, “he has plans to prosper me and to not cause me harm. He has plans to give me hope and a future”. I believe and know that to be true. So, to hell what statistics and people have to say! I’m here to tell you to embrace your journey and create the best damn life there is!
Until next time xoxo
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