It’s November and Thanksgiving is around the corner. I have been feeling pretty tired lately, but I am “over weight” so it could be my body telling me something. I started searching on Google about early signs of obesity and thyroid problems. To my surprise, my symptoms fit!
A few days had passed and my period isn’t here. That’s strange, I thought to myself. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about the possibility of being pregnant. “You’re not pregnant, chill out. And if you are, take a test”. Well, I didn’t want to pay for a test because I knew for sure my period was coming.
BOY WAS I WRONG!
November 29, 2017 changed everything! I have always imagined I’d be married and in my 30s with my first child. And I am 24 (almost 25) and not married. Of course, premarital sex was a no, no. However, I was sure this was the one and there was no way a pregnancy could happen.
As I sat on the bathroom floor and as the tears ran down my cheeks, my life flashed before my eyes. I felt like my life was over and that I had disappointed my parents. All of these negative thoughts consumed my mind.
You’re a statistic.
You’re an idiot.
You just ruined your life.
You’re damaged goods.
You’ll never be successful.
I personally couldn’t move. After about 20 minutes, I managed to get myself off the floor and tell my boyfriend the news.
BOY OH BOY..HE WAS NOT HAPPY!
I won’t go into much detail about the conversation with him, because this story is intended to let you know that YOU GOT OPTIONS.
After speaking with him, I told my parents. To my surprise, they were supportive. They simply told me that they will stand behind whatever decision I make.
I cried for weeks… it felt like! My heart ached and I felt depressed and alone. I reached out to this pregnancy clinic and made an appointment. She made me take another pregnancy test.
3 times a charm!
“Yep, you’re Indeed pregnant” she said. I just sat there with my head low and managed to ask her if God would forgive me. She came closer and said, “honey, he already has” and hugged me. I don’t know why, but I knew whatever I decided, it would be alright.
I researched a lot about abortions and spoke with the nurse about it as well. I never pictured raising a child on my own and felt they would be put at a disadvantage. As the thought circled around in my mind, I sat on the bed for my first ultrasound. Because I’m curious, I wanted to see if it was really a baby in my belly. When I looked at the screen, I seen this peanut. At 6 weeks, it was indeed a baby in there and they had a strong heartbeat. Tears started rolling down my face. How could I abort a living being?
The nurse mentioned adoption. I entertained the idea for a day….maybe two. However, I could never give my child away. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and cried and prayed and cried and cried and prayed. After about 2-3 weeks of crying and praying, I decided to keep the baby.
You see, my life is not over. I am not damaged goods nor am I failure. I am preparing to become someones mother. I have my whole life ahead of me and this is not the end, but the beginning. Believe it or not, my baby saved me from myself. I am sharing this because I want you to know that you have options to. God will guide you every step of the way. Trust in him and remain positive, and everything will be okay.
Until next time! XOXO
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