Dating while celibate

If you have not done so, check out my post about Celibacy. It provides you with some background info about celibacy.

If you have had sexual relations in the past, than restraining from sex can be challenging. However, it is not impossible to do. You have to first have a made up mind. Secondly, identify why you are celibate. Third, be honest with yourself and the individuals you are dating and or in a committed relationship with.

Dating when you have decided to practice celibacy can be tricky if you are not 100% confident in your decision to take this journey. You will have men that will tell you they are not able to date and or be in a committed relationship with you if you are not involved sexually. I am not going to lie, it does hurt a bit, especially if you like the person. However, it is best to get rid of the guys who are only with you because of sex. Now some men will be honest and just tell you they cannot and do not want to partake in a celibate lifestyle, and that does not mean they are bad people. It just means they are not for you.

When you truly commit to being celibate and you start actively dating, you learn a lot about yourself and the kind of men you want. You learn to understand your needs and wants, and you pay very close attention to what his needs and wants are as well. You quickly weed out the boys who just want sex from you and notice the men who have more to offer you than wet panties (excuse my bluntness). You gain a sense of confidence about yourself and your worth, and honey when you have discovered your self worthNO MAN will be able to take that from you.

Here are a few tips on how to date successfully while being celibate:

  1. Be honest with the guy you are on a date with and or dating. Tell him you are celibate and you are not having sex until you are married. Do not tell him in a way where you are giving him a ultimatum. However, tell him in a way where you are just voicing what you want out of any serious relationship. (I would not bring this up on the first date either).
  2. Date men who are on the same path as you or who are open to the idea of being celibate. Dating men who are already and or are open to practicing celibacy will help you stay on the correct path of your journey.
  3. DO NOT be afraid to walk away or stop dating men who do not want to practice celibacy. If he has told you that he does not want to and or does not see himself not have sexual relations with any woman he is involved with, please believe him. YOU CANNOT CHANG HIS MIND.
  4. Journal about each date and talk to a friend or family member you trust about your journey. I advise to only talk to supportive people about your celibacy journey. The harsh truth of it all is most people cannot imagine a relationship (even if dating) without sex, and most people are not supportive. Talking to someone who is supportive of your decision will help you to stay on track.
  5. Enjoy the journey! Get to know yourself. Learn to truly love yourself and all of your assets. Be confident in your decision to practice celibacy and DO NOT LET ANYONE CHANGE YOUR MIND.

Just like with anything, it does take sometime for Mr. Right to come along. However, when he does, you will know. Whether he is practicing or willing to practice celibacy with you, it will be a great journey for the both of you! Just remember to be patient and enjoy dating!

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Pre Thanksgiving

Happy pre Thanksgiving!!!

Today is a day or the day before the day ,where we give thanks to God for all that he has done for us. We give thanks to the people in our lives for supporting and loving us through this thing we call life. We give thanks for the many opportunities we have been blessed with. We give thanks for being alive, because we all have loved ones who are not here to enjoy another holiday with us. We give thanks for having a roof over our head and food in our bellies. There are so many things we can and should be thankful for ,and I want you all to enjoy your day tomorrow.

No matter what you are going through, whether good or bad, please take time out to thank God for all of his many blessings. Truth be told, things could be worse. This is where we take time away from our daily activities and enjoy our family and friends.

I want you all to know that I am very thankful for all of your encouraging words and please know, without you this would Blog would not be possible.

I want you all to have a wonderful holiday and please be safe!

Motivational Monday

Happy Monday everyone!

It is the beginning of the week and that means you have a fresh start!

A fresh start to start working out.

A fresh start to begin your business.

A fresh start to set new goals.

A fresh start to become a better version of yourself.

My favorite scripture is, “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me”-Philippians 4:13. That means as long as you are in Christ and through Christ there is nothing you cannot do and or achieve!

As a young lad, the only thing I was sure of is that I wanted to write for a living. I love creating stories and telling truths my audience would and can relate to. I went to college in 2011 hoping to become a journalist. I quickly realized that was not something I wanted to do lol. I graduated in 2015 with a BA in Communication. I left college with knowing and being sure that I wanted to write and inspire people for a living. I wrote and self published my first book at the beginning of this year. You can check out my book by clicking here. I wrote and sent my 2nd book to a publishing company and it will be here January 2017!

I am not writing this post to brag or anything. I am sharing my life experiences and accomplishments in hope that it will inspire you to go after your dreams and conquer your goals. I am a firm believer in YOU can do anything you set your mind to. All you need is faith and determination.

Repeat after me: I can…I will…Accomplish X, Y, and Z!

You only have one life to live, so make it count!

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Choices

Happy Friday!

As you know, I get a hint of inspiration sent directly to my email. I thought I would share with you all. Let me know what you think!

How will you use your gifts?
What choices will you make?

Will inertia be your guide?
Or will you follow your passions?

Will you follow dogma?
Or will you be original?

Will you choose a life of ease?
Or a life of service and adventure?

Will you wilt under criticism?
Or will you follow your convictions?

When it’s tough,
Will you give up?
Or will you be relentless?

Will you be a cynic?
Or will you be a builder?

In the end,
We are,
Our choices.

~ Jeff Bezos ~

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Live on purpose!

I love Jené Kapela definition about living on purpose! To live life on purpose means people who “set priorities that align with what’s most important to them and make progress each day. They also live a balanced life, meaning the time and energy they invest is spent proportionally on the things that matter most to them. People who live with purpose, live with passion.”

My definition is to take control of your life and to NEVER let life take control of you!

As human beings we often just go with the flow and we hope things will play out in our favor. We rarely go into things with direction or with a plan. For an example, when we get offered a position with a company and they pay us less money than what our skill set matches, we tend to accept it and just hope that one day we will be making our desired pay wage amount.

Instead, we should go into the company with a plan. For an example, you can let the company know you will accept this position for this amount of money, but if they do not increase your pay to your desired amount within x amount of time, you will have to leave the company.

This shows the company that you are not only confident in yourself, but you know what skills you can bring to the company and they will not be sorry for hiring you.

By having that attitude, you take control of your life and you don’t let life take control of you.

Living on purpose means to live a fulfilled life and to do the things that make you happy…no matter what people think. You have a understanding about how precious life is and  you take every moment to make sure you are embracing you and your happiness.

We often get stuck in a routine and we forget to live our life. Not doing the things that makes us happy will eventually lead to depression and will have you leading a life full of regrets.

I do not want that for you. I want you to live a full and prosperous life! I want you to write down the person you want to become (do not compare yourself or say you want the life of someone else. This is about YOU) and what makes you happy. When you have your list, I want you to write down one thing you want to do per month and work that list until the end of the year. If you would like to start at the beginning of the year, that is perfectly fine.

Let me know what makes you happy and what is getting in the way of you reaching your goals/dreams.

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Welcome Back

I have not blogged in a while, simply because I was trying to figure out this thing we call life.

As you may know, I have started my Masters program this Fall. Everything was going perfectly fine until I received a not so pleasant grade. I have never in all 23 years of my life received a 60% on any of my papers. I was completely devastated! 

Whenever I received a C on any of my assignments in undergrad I would do everything I could to bring my grade up. In this case, I did nothing. I had no desire to do anything. I sat and I looked at why I was in grad school. I wrote down all of the things I wanted to do and who I wanted to become in my journal.

In that moment I realized I was in grad school for all of the wrong things. I was in grad school because I felt I had to be. I felt I had to get a masters degree to be successful. I felt I had to get it right now before life started to happen.

In actuality, life was happening and I did not need to obtain my masers degree right now to be successful.

Success is what I say success is…not anyone else.

I believe in higher education and I will go back to obtain my masters. However, it will be in something that I am passionate. 

I am sharing this with you because, for a very long time I did things I  felt I should be doing , instead of doing things I love. You NEVER want to do something because others tell you to do it. Your family and friends will support you in whatever you decide to do!

I have developed a plan A and I trust God will see it through. Life is going to happen…it is happening right now. It’s not about pleasing others and doing what they feel would make you successful. It is about what YOU want to do and what you believe success is.

In the words of me, live life on purpose and do what makes you happy!

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